My Heart Is Breaking

My heart is just breaking for this lady and her husband, One of the ladies on my Due Date board for jade lost her little girl 😦 here is the post that she made



I can’t believe that we made it this far and now my sweet baby girl is gone. I had been having what I thought were contractions for the last 2/3days and I really thought I would be going into labour soon. I’ve had numerous issues with low papp-a, her femurs where short and then I had really high blood pressure but I thought we had overcome it all. She was small but growing at her own sweet steady pace, my bp was back to normal and we had made it all the way to over 38weeks, I got scanned every month and then recently every 2weeks to check she was still growing etc and everything was fine. I had about 30 irregular contractions from Wednesday night onwards, we were getting so excited that she would be here soon. Yesterday I had a few more contractions but noticed her movement had slowed somewhat so I checked her with my doppler about 2pm and there she was, loud as ever, heart rate 142pm, so I had my usual nap and carried on as usual. Around 10-11pm I said to my husband that I hadn’t felt her in a while and I was stil getting the pains so we went and checked with the doppler and there was just silence. It was like I didn’t even have it switched on. We grabbed my notes and drove to the hospital, arrived at the Maternity Assessment Unit and the midwife tried with the doppler, nothing, I was scanned twice and it was confirmed. My baby, Madison Ellouise had passed. I have taken the first tablet to get my labour started and have to wait it out now. If nothing happens by Sunday morning I need to head to the delivery suite so they can get more drugs in my system to start more going. I can’t believe I got soclose and now I have to say goodbye. I wish all you ladies all the happiness and joy in the world and pray that none of you have the same fate as me. If you feel there is anything wrong then get it checked out. You may feel silly if its nothing but you never know what could happen. Love to you all and I hope to have a happy return to this side soon.
It is truly upsetting that yet another family has to go through the loss of a child 😦 , no one ever deserves this so why do we have to go through this for 😦

5 thoughts on “My Heart Is Breaking

  1. That is so sad Sarah! Totally feel for this family. It just goes to show no matter how far u r along in your pregnancy things can still go wrong. Hearing other people’s stories like this just breaks my heart, I couldn’t imagine the pain this poor couple r going through ATM. I can’t believe the hospital still makes u deliver naturally knowing full well that the baby is going to be still born.

  2. “so why do we have to go through this for”

    That is the question that many people want answered for a wide range of situations. Statistically we know that the number of infant deaths is X, and that is ok, but when we are part of that X it is not okay. The short answer is that we have to go through shitty stuff because statistically we have to. There are very few people that are always on the good side of statistics. As sucky as this sounds, it has to happen to someone. It was just her turn. No, it’s not fair. No, it’s not fun. It is what it is. Worrying about why the statistics caught up to us is useless when there is nothing we could have done to cheat statistics. We who live in the west cheat the statistics on starvation, yet starvation statistics catch up with someone. As long as there are infant deaths someone will have to go through the process of dealing with it. She probably did nothing to deserve that, but if someone has to be there, it is difficult to tell the universe that it should not be you. There is no way to avoid inevitabilities, only methods of dealing with them. Life sucks, people suck. This is how it is. Expecting otherwise is to ignore the reality. In short, it is what it is… sadly there is no way for us to avoid statistics and the inevitable. That does not give much hope but hope is not what you asked for.

  3. I’m terribly sorry for your loss. Being a mom to an infant that passes away can be lonely, but writing like this will be a big help. I will be praying for you and your family. Remember to let yourself grieve. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s time to get over it. Getting counseling and writing really helped me when I lost my son 19 years ago. Bless you and yours!

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