Not coping

Things have been really getting on top of me i am always feeling  down, and have lack of motivation to do anything


Im not sleeping well, We have either Jason or deacan in our bed almost every night, they get p at round 1am ish and hop in our bed, or they get up and stay up so i have to stay up with them, if its not that i am still having nightmares about jade, after holding her what seemed to be lifeless body in my hands about a month ago when she had the convulsions, its brought back so many memories of Bryce, and holding his lifeless body in my arms 😦


I am flat out during the day between cleaning, getting stuff ready for Sarah’s Charms, or taking Jade to appointments, i very rarely have time to just sit down and relax, i know its all part of being a mother an a house wife, though doing all this on lack of sleep really isnt good,

I find it hard to eat during the day, as i am just so busy all the time and by the time i realize that i am hungry i am then over hungry and can not eat, as my body naturally just throws it up due to a past eating disorder


Everything is seriously way to much at the moment, Daniel is always late home from work hardly does he ever get home on time, so then i am left with getting al 3 bathed, fed and in bed, getting the boys into bed is such a huge task, either they dont want to go to sleep, or they will just sit there and not sleep but want to play,  my day can start from around 2am and doesnt finish until anywhere between 9 and 10.30pm, then some nights i will be back up at 12.30 am cos the kids are back up and Daniel needs his sleep for work, as he has to be up at 5.30 to get ready and leave the door at 6.15-6.30am for work


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