Turn back time

Today has just been one of those days one of those bad days where all I have wanted to do is cry.
I keep thinking about Bryce and wonder why? Like why did it have to happen to us for? Why was he chosen to die for? Why was he taken away from 2 loving parents for?
I know I will never really have the answers for this though it still doesn’t lessen the pain. I should have 4 children at home with me now not 3.
Don’t get me wrong I live my kids I have at home and I would never give them up for anything I guess I just really miss Bryce its honestly hard to understand how I am feeling right about now unless you are unfortunate to be an angel parent like me.
This is going to sound bad and I really don’t mean for it to though I have has a lot of ladies who have had miscarriages under 12 weeks tell me they know how I feel and what I am going through though in sorry you have no idea how I feel u didn’t have to give birth to a child that was not breathing, you did not have to name your child and watch it get wheeled down the hall way to a cold room, and you didn’t have to bury your child and give your child a funeral so how can you know how I am feeling how can you understand how I am feeling.
I don’t know if I am feeling like this as its coming up to Bryce’s 4th birthday or not though that’s a very long time to feel like a part of your heart has been ripped out and smashed. The sad thing is I can’t even have his photo up for my profile photo on Facebook as it upsets to many people

Once again sorry for such a down post I am just in a very bad head space at the moment

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