I find myself these days more worried for jade then ever…. I feel like i want to wrap her in cotton wool and NEVER let her out of my site,


I was doing some reading regarding jades conditions and yeah the thought that her thing in her brain could burst at any time and kill er with out any warning is very terrifying I know i cant watch her 24/7 i know i cant keep her from the world i know all i can do is give her as much love as i can and her the best in life


Though i have this part of me that is so hurting that it could happen an at the same time know that it could not happen i am very grateful that she has proven the doctors wrong on so many counts already, an my love for her is the same as i have for my boys, i dont ever want to part with them,

The thought of possibly loosing another child is utterly heart breaking (im not saying that we are definitely going to lose her) though there is a chance we could and its horrifying



Im sorry for this post i guess i just need to get it out, i guess i need a shoulder to cry on or someone here to tel me that its going to be alright,


Paeds Letter

i got this letter today in the mail from Jades Paed



Jade is a young ex-premature infant that i met for the first time as an inpatient in march and then again in may of this year, She was managed initially in the mater mothers Hospital, as a premature infant where she had problems of suspected sepsis at birth secondary to chorioamniontis. She also had a germinal matrix bleed with some ventriculomegaly which resolved whilst in the nursery. Se had seizures whilst in the nursery and was on phenobarbtione for a short time but not discharged on any anticonvulsants, She did not have problems of chronic neonatal lung disease and no issues with her gut. She had some mild retinopathy of prematurity but this has resolved on themost recent review, in the nursery she had an MRI scan that was abnormal in that it showed a watershed type injury to both cerebal  hemispheres and multifocal petechial haemrrhages in cerebal and cerebella hemispheres, There was alsothe comment of the germinal matrix bleed that likely caused the hydrocephalous that resolved. She also had an EEG in February this year that was abnormal with focal slowing of left and right hemispheres and multifocal sharp waves of the left hemisphere

Printing it out

So i was thinking about getting this whole blog printed out into a hard copy book, i think it would be good to as i can always go back and just read the past, and also would be good to in case wordpress went down, though another part of me thinks it would be a wait of money  i guess i could do it every year or something and put them away so i can go through it at the start of the next year to see how and what has happened in the past, like if things are getting better or not, also to see a progression in my moods as well and to see what triggers what…


What do you guys think?

Missing In Action!!!!!

SO i haven’t made a post in a while and I’m sorry thing have been quite busy here between the kids and myself,  And i now have a quite moment to sit down and write, though i am pretty sure i will miss some things out

I am determined to get rid of a lot of things, i have been sorting through the house and there is just so much stuff that we don’t use anymore, Jade has a lot of clothes that she has out grown the boys have some to that they have out grown, there are bits and pieces around the house that just dont get used any more and are taking up room that is more needed for other things, i am so sick of this house looking clutted,  I have taken photos of things and placed it on a Facebook group called Logan Buy and Swap though guess that everyone has the same idea as me, and a lot of people just dont seem interested,


I have been putting a lot of things up on eBay though they are not selling for what they are worth people are getting them for a lot cheaper, plus eBay keeps hitting me with fees, I am also trying to get rid of some of Sarah’s Charms old stock as well, though someone seen me post something regarding it, and has now decided that they want to post all about their  “business”  I know that i have to deal with competition though hey… no need to try and take over



I got myself a new car and i love her ❤ its a 2004 BA Ford Falcon Sedan, and she handles like a dream, i traded my old car in….  i guess my old car was ok though i just got sick all the leaks it had  it leaked Oil, Power Steering Fluid and Coolant pretty bad, so i was for ever replacing it, and it would of costed me a s**t load to get it fixed and i am sorry though i only paid $2500 for the car, and i already had to get the Mechanic to fix it and the repair bills were starting to cost more than what the car did so it had to go, Plus i didnt feel safe in it with the kids as i had a couple of near misses, though yeah, i have the car under finance for the next 5 Years…..



Work is going really well i didnt have many shifts this week, i only had 2, SO by the looks of it next pay is going to be small,m i think i might start looking for a second job for during the Week days,  though i really love my job now for Brisbane After Hours Doctors, the staff there and the Doctor there are very lovely, and i actually enjoy going to work and look forward to my shifts, though i need some extra income coming in



I had a Doctors appointment the other day to get blood test results, my Iron is really low, its sitting at 13 when it should be at 35 so he has placed me on a 310mg iron tablet that i have to take each day, also my blood work showed up i have rheumatoid arthritis, i have to go for repeat blood work in a month then he is going to send me to a specialist though i think i will go back earlier as its starting to play up,  He sad that i am in “Early stages” of it and it quite hurts  now so i would hate to see it in full stages… i dont mean to sound rude though i always associated arthritis with old people


Jade is doing well she has only had 1 more seizure since the last lot she had a daycare, she LOVES her feet at the moment, and she is trying to sit herself up when she is laying down, plus now she hardly stays on her back she always rolls over to her tummy and she loves it,


The boys are going great as well, Jason’s  speech is improving and so is Deacan’s though they are little ratbags and are always getting into trouble, speaking of that i have to go and sort these kids out.. until next time,

Take care all


Sarah xx

Wednesdays event!!!!!

long story short Jade had one of her seizures at daycare on Wednesday she has focal dyscongnative seizures (partial seizures or blanking episodes) she doesn’t have them like every day and there is no warning signs that she is going to have one before she does, any how daycare know that she has them and that she is on meds for them, she had one that lasted a min or less, thugh her recovery time was bad she didnt pick straight back up after her seizure, like normal, so any way i get a call from the carer in the morning saying that jade is sleepy abnd a bit fussy i said that it could either be cos she is constipated, teething or because her meds have been upped, she says that she will try a few thing to see if that helps her, i told her that if those didnt work let me know and ill come pick her up

any way about an hour later i get a call from the director saying that they are really worried about her as she is limp and not breathing right, when she said that i yelled at her to call 000 and i will meet them at the hospital, as i went to hang up the phone adnd run out the door she is yelling my name i stop and continue to talk to her, she then said what was happening i asked some questions like if she went into her staring episodeds she said yes i said she has had a seizure call the ambulance i am on my way,

So pretty much Jade had, had a seizure she was all limp/floppy nd not breathing right and they wanted me to pick her up they had no intentions on calling an ambulance until i told them to…. i have told them before if she has a seizure to just watch her and that if she doesnt pick back up or has breathing problems/goes blue around the mouth to call 000


SO wouldnt common sense tell you to call 000… so now i think it is time to look for another child care center, as  i am really pissed off about this… though heres the thing daycare dont think they are in the wrong they think i am in the wrong and that i am an unfit mother


So today is just another day in paradise. It’s a cold day quite cold to be exact though the sun is out and not a cloud in the sky.

The boys (Jason and deacan) are being their typical self trying to see just how far they can push mummy with trashing the house, getting into things they shouldn’t be and emptying out the pantry….
Jade is good she is sleeping, she is some what advancing well she is getting very vocal now so Daniel and I are saying words to her to try and get her to say her first word. Her eczema is getting worse we are trying everything to get it to settle down though it just keeps flaring up, we also have socks over her hands to try and stop her scratching it though the clever little bugger will take them off and scratch when we turn our backs.

Work is going good getting some good hours and it’s starting to pick up so it’s not that slow any more so that’s a good thing

I think I am going to change the kids daycare again as I’m not happy with the crap that they are doing and the accusations that they are making… Some of them are just down right stupid. They think I don’t look after the kids as Jason always has a cough or runny nose though he is an ex 25 weeker he doesn’t have the immune system that you or I would plus mind you we are in the middle or winter now so there are things going around you should see the top of our medicine cabinet it’s filling crap for the kids I also went out and spent over $100 on natural stuff to help build the immune system though like normal that still won’t be good enough because in ther eyes I dont look after my children…… Maybe if the had a look at the amount of times I take them to the doctor or the hospital to get checked out their eyes might open

The days of our lives is still happening I think that is just going to be a non stop thing always bitching about something and can NEVER keep their nose on their own business though I guess if they keep trying to butt in the grass must be greener on my side of the fence an their own back yard is full of crap or they suck up to others to try and dig for goss though I have now cut them out of my families live it couldn’t make me happier to have nothing to do with them any more as my kids dont need that bull shit.

I guess everything has just gotten to me I can’t vent properly as t would look like I am looking for sympathy so I can’t just let it all out. People just don’t realize that I have enough going on with out them adding to it. My life is hectic enough with out anyone else adding their own drama into it…..

I guess that is it for now the kids are to full on and I have to keep getting up to check on the and putting my mobile down and they grab it and run off with it so until next time take care and I will post more when I can