Haven’t been on much

Sorry I haven’t been in much or posted anything in like for ever so much has been happening and I haven’t really been in the best head space either

So much to say its hard to know where to start so I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense and it seems like I’m rambling though I guess ill just type as it comes to my head

Things have been pretty full on lately between Daniel and the very high possibility if him loosing his job, to me starting my new business and finding it hard to get get clients though the clients I have now are lovely, to it almost being Bryce’s 5th birthday, Deacan and his issues and now Jason with his possible ADD or ADHD

Deacan has an appointment next week with a physiatrist to be assessed for his behavioural issues melt downs tantrums, deacan has all of a sudden become so clingy and touchy feely with Jade it’s like he has to smother her and it can become quiet creepy to the point I have to get Jim away from her… I hope we get some answers soon as I am really starting to feel like a horrible mum as u am unable to control him

With the 99-100% chance of Daniel about to loose his job has put so much pressure onto both of us. As I have just started up my own cleaning company and finding it harder than I originally thought to get clients I have some already and they are all lovely and great though just not as many as I would like. Daniel mentioned to me the other night about possibly going to the mines for work though yes the money would be great I just don’t know how we would all go having 3 weeks with out each other then 2 weeks with each other I honestly don’t know how the kids would go or even how I would go…. Mo et would be great though as we could get out of debit and hopefully start saving for a house

So it’s coming up to Bryce’s 5th birthday soon, the years seem to be going faster and faster though at the same time going slower ad slower I really hate myself as I am starting to forget him and I really don’t want to, I forget how his skin felt what it felt like to hold him and to look at him people tell me as the years go on it gets easier though is that because you start forgetting?????

I don’t know if its just all the stress with hormones added into it though I really feel like breaking point is just about to come