Emotions

I’m having a pretty down today I feel so overwhelmed like everything is getting to me.

I have been up since 4:30am its now 4:25pm and I’m just in a mood I have been all day and have no idea why. I have taken my morning meds plus 2 extra 25mg seriquol tablets and a 5mg Valium and I’m still feeling really depressed……

I had so much I wanted to do today like get out into the garden and plant my marygold seeds. Also wanted to add more veggies into the garden that I first have to dig up.

Though after getting up and cleaning the kitchen folding washing dealing with Dom etc I just really can’t be bothered doing anything. My motivation has gone.

Jordan is heading out to a mates place tonight once dom is in bed and asleep…. I can’t even seem to bring myself to get something out for dinner

I’ve started on a second painting and I honestly think my 5 year old could do better…. Things never turn out like they seem in my head. I do find the painting dies help destress a little though I’m pretty sure I don’t have an artistic bone in my body :'(:'(:'(

I feel like going back inside the deep hole that I crawled out of as things never seem to stuff up like they do now

I have an appointment to see my case manager in Tuesday might be good to speak to her though I’m scared if I open right up that they will re admit me again  I know my meds need to be upped as I know they are not string enough

I just don’t understand why things seem so negative now…..

daily thoughts of Sarah

Such a taboo subject ⛔️⛔️⛔️👎⛔️⛔️⛔️

I don’t understand how Mental Health can be such a taboo subject, why can’t people talk openly about it for? Why are people looked and judged differently once someone knows they have a mental illness.
I think it’s about time that people start speaking up about it, it shouldn’t be something that it just swept under the rug…. Mental illness is real and it’s about time people took it seriously….
how hard is it to ask someone “how are you today.” Or say ” I’m here if you need anyone to talk to”

So many people feel alone when they have been diagnosed and they shouldn’t, so let’s make 2015 the year when we all speak up about it and be there for others that might need the support

But slack

So I’ve been a bit slack and gone back on my word I haven’t done a post everyday like I said I would 👎👎👎

So to update with what’s going on, domonic is now almost 10 months old he is 9.5kgs as well. I have started a health kick to put weight on and in less than a week I have put on 1kg though for most that’s not a big deal though for me it is as I seem to loose weight just like that

I’m still trying to come to terms with my dreams as they are scary as hell. Mostly they are very gory dreams of Bryce or really bad things happening to him, though I’ve been taking my mess like clock work though I have a feeling they will need to be upped…..

I’m trying my hardest to keep all the negative people out of my life and to remain positive though the great thing is that the trash took its self out on Facebook so one less thing I have to worry about

I’m really starting to get into my gardening I have made a compost bin and replanted some seeds, my aim is to dig up most of the front/side lawn and plant a whole heap there so we can live off the land

Anyway domonic is starting to crack up as its his bed time so might post some later