Emotions

I’m having a pretty down today I feel so overwhelmed like everything is getting to me.

I have been up since 4:30am its now 4:25pm and I’m just in a mood I have been all day and have no idea why. I have taken my morning meds plus 2 extra 25mg seriquol tablets and a 5mg Valium and I’m still feeling really depressed……

I had so much I wanted to do today like get out into the garden and plant my marygold seeds. Also wanted to add more veggies into the garden that I first have to dig up.

Though after getting up and cleaning the kitchen folding washing dealing with Dom etc I just really can’t be bothered doing anything. My motivation has gone.

Jordan is heading out to a mates place tonight once dom is in bed and asleep…. I can’t even seem to bring myself to get something out for dinner

I’ve started on a second painting and I honestly think my 5 year old could do better…. Things never turn out like they seem in my head. I do find the painting dies help destress a little though I’m pretty sure I don’t have an artistic bone in my body :'(:'(:'(

I feel like going back inside the deep hole that I crawled out of as things never seem to stuff up like they do now

I have an appointment to see my case manager in Tuesday might be good to speak to her though I’m scared if I open right up that they will re admit me again  I know my meds need to be upped as I know they are not string enough

I just don’t understand why things seem so negative now…..

daily thoughts of Sarah