Emotions

I’m having a pretty down today I feel so overwhelmed like everything is getting to me.

I have been up since 4:30am its now 4:25pm and I’m just in a mood I have been all day and have no idea why. I have taken my morning meds plus 2 extra 25mg seriquol tablets and a 5mg Valium and I’m still feeling really depressed……

I had so much I wanted to do today like get out into the garden and plant my marygold seeds. Also wanted to add more veggies into the garden that I first have to dig up.

Though after getting up and cleaning the kitchen folding washing dealing with Dom etc I just really can’t be bothered doing anything. My motivation has gone.

Jordan is heading out to a mates place tonight once dom is in bed and asleep…. I can’t even seem to bring myself to get something out for dinner

I’ve started on a second painting and I honestly think my 5 year old could do better…. Things never turn out like they seem in my head. I do find the painting dies help destress a little though I’m pretty sure I don’t have an artistic bone in my body :'(:'(:'(

I feel like going back inside the deep hole that I crawled out of as things never seem to stuff up like they do now

I have an appointment to see my case manager in Tuesday might be good to speak to her though I’m scared if I open right up that they will re admit me again  I know my meds need to be upped as I know they are not string enough

I just don’t understand why things seem so negative now…..

daily thoughts of Sarah

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Witching hour at its worse 😱😱😱😱

Ok so we can’t be the only ones there has to be others out there in the same boat!!!
Though why does it always seem like a nightmare to get an infant to sleep of a night…. Bub normally goes down between 6 and 7pm though for the past week he has been a total nightmare…. He is teething, though we have an amber necklace on him we give him teething gel and nurofen about 10 to 15 minutes before bed, he takes his bottle and about half the time he goes straight to sleep…. Though the other half of the time he just screams and I mean ear piercing screams I would rather hear nails being ran down a chalk board!!!

So we go in to him make sure he is ok though he just keeps screaming there is nothing wrong with him… Is anyone else in the same boat??? Any tips would be great

Bad Mood

I am in such a bad mood today, I am so bloody tired all i want is sleep, though no Deacan had different plans last night didnt he, i have no clue to what has gotten into him, though the past couple of night he has came into our room and hopped on to the bed and just sat there and screamed then he wanted to play, mind you its like 12.30am at this stage…..

 

I just need sleep, its good being the weekend as i will be able to get  a bit of a nap today  once daniel is up,

My eyes are so heavy

It Stops Now

As of today it all stops,

From this day forth, i will no longer be made feel lower than scum,

I will no longer Be made feel i am not good enough for any one or anything i do,

I will no longer be treated as a door mat i am worth more than that,

From now on i am going to look in the mirror and be happy with what i see

From now on i am going to stand up for my self and what i believe in,  and not get stood on

But mostly

From now on i will no longer cry myself to sleep of a night because i have let the above happen

3rd Feb 2012

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28th January

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